Forever rambling…

This summer I was challenged (more or less so I could get my wonderful College certificate) to get a job in my chosen field of study.  As I sit here at my computer, having done every single task that has been assigned to me, I wonder, is this what I want?

Let me start off by saying that I am fully enjoying my job so far.  Though I still have 2 more months to go until my  internship is finished, hopefully it will keep being this awesome.
Somehow, today, having too much time to think and only having one other person in the office, makes me wonder what it would be like to do this full time and permanently.

So far, during this internship I have been asked to do the most insane tasks.  From wrapping presents, selling alcohol tickets, re-arranging storage rooms and answering phones, my days certainly haven’t been dull.  But it all leaves me wondering, if I were to work this job full time would I be doing the same things?  Am I really getting the most out of my experiences this summer?  Am I really getting the most out of my future??

Taking a few years off between high school and college has allowed me time to travel, see the world, meet new people, and sample some amazing food (and some not so amazing…).  Sitting in a desk for the next 40 something odd years…  well, it seems to be a long, drawn out path.

Is it my newfound taste of freedom that has made my long awaited career seem less desirable, or is it just the fantasies of youth. The fantasy that I could be out saving the world, travelling, making friends, and seeing amazing things with my own two eyes.

Somedays running errands outside of the office seems to be all of the freedom I will get. 

So, as my future stretches out endlessly before my eyes, I have too much spare time to wonder, did I choose the wrong path?  Or once I am set on my way, will there be many little paths to choose from?  The possibilities are limitless, but my vision is so limited.  So off I go, on my little chosen path, praying that everyday will be worth the next 40-something years of my life well wasted!!

Midnight Ramblings of the Socially Retarded…

Midnight Ramblings of the Socially Retarded  (yes, that would be me…)

As I sit in my bed with my laptop, I realize once again, just how lame I can be. My Friday night consisted of baking muffins (which, while good, don’t take the place of a good friend… well… okay, eating has pretty much become my best friend), and my Saturday consisted of folding t-shirts.

Tonight I spent two hours folding shirts, slowly dying a little more inside with each shirt. Much to my dismay (though it happens every time) there is always one person who insists on unfolding two hours worth of work in about 30 seconds. With all the time that I have to think about everything (and I do mean everything) I had concocted a plan. If chubby blonde girl unfolded one more shirt, I would bludgeon her to death with a hanger. With all my spare time I’m sure I could sharpen one to a very nice little boomerang of death or something…

Driving home from work was not eventful (now that my car is back in the shop and not dying in the middle of traffic). At a stop light, however, I happened to glance through a living room window where I saw a young woman stand up, walk across her living room, and give her man a hug. I realized that for one second I had witnessed a perfect moment. Yes, I’m a little bit creepy, but it almost gives you some hope for the world. It also gives me the drive to close my curtains the moment the sun goes down!

I had previously decided that this summer I would be outgoing and make a few new friends. All of my friends disappear for the summer, and when they go, so does my social life. Due to circumstances where I have new-found freedom, not having any friends to share it with kind of depletes the whole, “I am a young adult in the big wide world alone, let’s go do fun stuff” thing. As I attempt to get to know people I get a whole slew of reactions, ranging from crazy looks, to pitiful smiles; to “I know how you feels.” The fact that I am also socially retarded when put into a big group circumstance also doesn’t help my social outlook. With a few people I know, I’m great! Outgoing and fun. But stick me at a table with a pile of people I don’t know, and Houston, we’ve got a problem. Breaking into a herd of young adults is especially difficult. It’s not unlike being the stupid gazelle who wanders into a pack of lions. You get the stare down, the glare down, the “mmm fresh meat,” and finally they either rip you apart or look upon you disdainfully.

I suppose in this life so far I am lacking nothing. I have amazing friends (however far away they may be) a car (that spends more time in the shop than on the road), and an awesome home (which I haven’t managed to burn down by experimenting with my cooking…yet…). There are many things a lone person can do by his/herself. Like, flying a kite! (Tried that on a very windy day, and when the kite is as big as you are, you can be dragged pretty far… try several feet through a field on your face… yes. It did happen.) or knitting! (ha!). Or a lone person can start writing down the strange random things going through their mind at the moment (sound familiar?). I could also use this time to perfect my boomerang hanger of death. Or I could use it to sleep peacefully and bask in the peacefulness until fall when school, work, and finally, a social life, all begin again!

Goodnight world!